PURE HANSON HATE







Stupid Yet Funny Things I've Found Out Regarding Hanson
(I don't know if some of this stuff is true. And really, I don't care!)

Ahh, it all makes sense now...: " MMM Bop means male three-way anal sex. I heard it on a webpage where a homosexual from Iowa posted it. This would of course be a favorite pastime for those little bastards, except for their femininity."

" About one year ago, when 'MMM-Bop' was a #1 hit on MTV, I was talking to a friend of mine about the video. He said: 'Yeah, the chick on the keyboards is a great fuck.' I said: 'It's a boy, asshole!' He said: "What? Really? Shit!' He looked disturbed, so I asked:'What's wrong?' He replied: 'Last night, I jerked off while fantasizing about her!' Oh. My. God.

" I'm e-mailing you because I saw a commercial on TV, I think it was for Pop-Up Video on VH1, it said that Zac looked like the Olsen twins, and I-sick (Issac) looks like Chelsea Clinton, and Taylor looks like Jewel."
I now have a newfound respect for VH1.

Is NOTHING sacred from those little pricks?!: " I have some anti-Hanson news. You know how Seventeen has one of those yearly polls. Well,Hanson was voted Lamest Band [yea!]. I saw that on T.V. Did you hear that their next video is a spoof of Titanic!? What the f*ck's up with that!? It's gonna have Gloria Stuart in it. Sh*t!"

A SWEET poem
*Hating Hanson --
Long, girly, dirty, messy hair.
Reminds me of horses. Zitty, dirty, yucky faces.
Start an oil company.
High, girly voices.
Reminds me of a squeaky water pipe. (What is Mmmbop anyway? It makes no sense,
just a dumb group trying to make a hit.)
Is it Minnie Mouse I hear?
A heavy, smelly, stinky, yucky stench
Heavy enough to sink the Titanic.
I see 3 faces.
I drop dead.
Aaaah!
Murder!
Hanson has murdered me without lifting a finger.

A list of the Hanson bothers' "faves:"
Taylor's favorite thing to wear: mom's lingerie
Zac's favorite thing to wear: girdles or kaboodles
Isaac's favorite thing to wear: peanut butter
Taylors favorite place to shop: Victoria's Secret
Zac's favorite place to shop: Burger King
Isaac's favorite place to shop: Farm Animal Accessories Inc.
Taylor's favorite game is: Girl Talk
Zac's favorite game is: Bo-Peep
Isaac's favorite game is: hide the hamster
Zac's favortie thing to eat: junk food, lots of high-cholesterol, high-sugar level junk food
Taylor's favorite thing to eat: brothers and sisters
Isaac's favorite thing to eat: mom and dad

Hanson is the Ambiguously Gay Trio.
On an MTV interview, Zac Hanson (the fat one) said, and I quote: "I was watching MTV one day and the camera went to a close-up of someone and I thought, 'Gee, what a pretty girl.' Then, I realized it was ME!"

Here are 12 true facts about Hanson:
(1)Issac Looks Like A Horse
(2)Taylor Is A Pansy
(3)Zac Is Not The Squeakiest, Taylor Is
(4)They All Need To Experience Puberty
(5)Taylor Has The Body Of A Girl
(6)Hanson Are At The Developmental Stage Of 2-Year-Olds
(7)They Are Gay (With Each Other)
(8)There Music Sounds Like Nails On A Blackboard
(9)Their Fans Are Either Drunk Or On Drugs
(10)They Need To Be Shot
(11)No One Ever Calls Mule Boy Hot!!
(12)Zac Is Fat!!!

" I hear that Zac ( Fat Ass, Horse-Boy, whatever you wanna call the little turd) can crack a cocconut with a whack of his head."
I believe it.

" When I saw the 'Mmbop' video for the first time I said, "the music blows but that chick on keyboards is hot". When I learned that they were actually three brothers, on MTV news, I wanted to sell my TV."
I am so sorry.



How Much Do We HATE Hanson?



Let us tell you how much:

"I'd rather dip my testicles in a hot frying vat and eat them right off my body than be forced to hear their name uttered in my presence."
"I would rather pull my brains out through my butt then look at them with masks on."
"I would rather eat 20 buckets of a zit-covered dweeb's barf then come within 100 meters of anything in the universe that has to do with Hanson!"
" I would rather masturbate with a cheese grater while watching Roseanne strip than listen to a single syllable of one of their sh*tty utterances."
" I would rather not take a shower for a year than listen to Hanson, I would rather eat my contacts than listen to Hanson, and I would rather date the biggest b---h in school than listen to Hanson."
"I would rather eat a peice of dog crap with worms in it than look at hanson or their cd."
"Well, I'd rather go out in the freezing cold, Canadian style winter and strip down to nothing screaming, "HANSON SUCKS" at the top of my lungs, until the police come to arrest me for indecent exposure. Unless I die from hypothermia first..."
I'd rather reduce my CD collection to nothing but Barry Manilow albums to avoid buying their record;
I'd rather gouge out my own eyes with a hot poker than buy their album;
I'd rather see Janet Reno strip. Hell, I'd rather see Rush Limbaugh strip than buy their album;
I'd rather bash my own brains in than touch a Hanson with a 50-foot pole;
AND, I'd rather eat raw intestine casserole with cyanide sauce and a side of crap than buy their album.



Hanson Boppers Fight Back


I suppose it was inevitable that some teeny-bopper-twelve-year-olds would ignore the repeated warnings not to flame me, lest the consequences. So here are some of their messages
Remember, Hanson fans, this could be your fate. Think twice before doing anything!
NOTE: These messages have been reprinted in their original form, as I received them. It is surprising how many Hanson lovers don't own a dictionary.

Why do you think that you can go on the internet and try to humiliate Hanson? I'm sure you're the one that's ugly and girly-like. Why don't you send me a picture of you so I can draw all over it, just like you did? HUH?!? You couldn't handle it could you? You're just a jerk. If you can say what you want, I can say what I want. You can have your opinion, that you hate Hanson, but keep it to yourself. That's just rude and immature to do what you're doing. The only reason you tease other people is becuase you are insecure with yourself. And don't write me back saying "I'm not insecure with my self, blah, blah, blah," becuase I don't want to hear it! Everyone knows people like you, don't have lives of their own, and just try to tease everyone elses, so they can have some fun. So come on, send me a picture...I can make you look real pretty!!!!!
Yeah, I bet you'd like that. Pervert.

Just for your information, I'll spread however much false crap I can find about Hanson, thank you. I am not going to tell you about how much I love Hanson(tho I do), or how stupid you are(tho you are). I am very aware there are Hanson haters out there, I just do not see why you have to be so immature about it. First of all,Hanson are men, NOT women. they are not gay and do NOT love one another in THAT way. If you are going to hate Hanson, do it because you do not like their taste in music. Not only because of MMbop, try listening to other songs on the CD. If you are going to hate Hanson, that is fine, just hate them, do not spread false rumors about them.

Look! Yet ANOTHER number one fan!
buang ka dong ! hanu di ka ganahan ni hanson??? ikaw(u)morag ka og(u are like)TOBOL(crap)!!!!!!!!!! WHAT HAS HANSON DONE TO YOU??????!!!!!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU DONT LIKE HANSON DOSENT MEAN YOU
HAVE TO MAKE FUN OF THEM THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS JUST LIKE YOU
AND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE HANSON !!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE
HANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE HANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LOVE
HANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND THEY RULE YOU U THINK YOUR SO COOL FOR SAYING
THESE STUFF YOU ARE SO MEANNNNNN!!!!!!!!! YOU STINK , SUCK ,
AND YOU ACT LIKE CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE

HANSON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HANSONS NO.1 FAN

LEAVE THE FREAKS ALONE! JUST CAUSE THEY ARE IDIOTIC HERMAFRIDITES WITH BRAINS THE SIZE OF NUETRINOS AND HAVE AWFUL MUSIC, GIVES YOU NO RIGHT TO INSULT THEM!!!!!!!!!
I think it does.

Hey idiot, you need to get a life,I am for real you do not have one! IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT IDIOT, YOU HAVE A SICK SICK SICK MIND! BYE
p.s. YOU ARE A STUPID IDIOT AND YOU CAN BO PO MY QUINDINGI
With pleasure.

you suck!!!hanson rules. You made a page of hanson because you like hanson. just admit it....you suck you suck you suck you suck hanson rules hanson rules hanson rules.......................................................i'd rather listen to hanson than marilyn manson, manson is gay and he is a girl. marilyn manson is a girl. he had his sex changed. his music is trash.....come follow me and listen to hanson............and if not, CLOSE DOWN YOUR SITE!!!!!!!!!!!!

A LONG letter
I would like to say,why did you have to put up a page on how much you hate hanson?? why would u waste your time on them??? I'm not a 12 year old teenbopper who likes Hanson.I'm a 15 year old who likes Hanson for their music,and yes I do like other bands. If you aren't jealous...than why the hell would u put up a FUCKIN page about how much u hate them?? If they suck than why did they sell over 15 million copies of Middle Of Nowhere?? If they also suck,than why were they up for 3 Grammies??? You should have good reasons to "dislike" Hanson. You dont have any "smart" reasons to dislike Hanson...I know tons of people who "dislike" them but they dont go out of their way just to make a fucking webpage. You HAVE NO LIFE!!!! Hanson will NEVER NEVER NEVER die out because they have so many fans,just like Metallica.. (which I like) I know blah blah blah opinions uhuhuh,I DONT GIVE a fuck if you have all these Hanson Haters e-mail me..cuz this is just opinions,but you went out of your fuckin way for no reason...YOU DONT HAVE A FUCKIN LIFE!!! At least get some facts...not opinions....I DO have facts that support my opinion therefor,I have good reasons to like them..
Thank You For Your Time
From a Hanson Fan4ever,
She's right...I really am a closet Hanson-lover in disguise! Um, no.

Hello, f*ckwit. I think thet you think that you are the most superior person on this planet, in the way that you treat people like sh*t. Don't you have anything better to do with your time than pay people out? Are you really that pathetic? It seems to me that you are jealous of Hanson. I mean, I would love for you to release a top ten album. Come on, lets see you do it. Hanson have more friends than you ever will. You are the loser. You are the one that sucks. Face it, Raven, You are jealous.
GET F*CKED ROT IN HELL SCUM

YOU SIR ARE AN IMMATURE LITTLE PUNK!!!!!! YOU ARE RUDE, AND ANNOYING. AND WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO YOU? YOU SHOULD FIGURE IT OUT,IF YOU DON'T LIKE THEIR MUSIC,GUESS WHAT YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO IT. YOU KNOW THE REASON THAT YOU IS BECAUSE YOU ARE TOTALLY JELOUS..
I FOR ONE DO NOT TAKE DRUGS OR DRINK AND I'VE NEVER EVER TRIED EITHER OF THEM AND I DON'T PLAN ON IT EITHER. THEY ARE THE ONES THAT ARE LIVING THEIR DREAM WHILE YOU SIT ON YOUR STUPID LITTLE BUTT AND JUST BE A ANNOYING AND I DON'T KNOW YOU SO I DON'T WANT TO SEEM MEAN EVEN IF I AM BEING MEAN. BUT THE WAY YOU LIVE WITH SO MUCH NEGATIVITY YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO END UP BEING A GARBAGE MAN!!! YOU SHOULD GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER OR JUST MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS AND JUST IGNORE HTEM YOU DON'T HAVE TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF IT!!!!!! AND BESIDES THEY ARE THE ONES WHO ARE SITTING ON STAGE WITH MILLIONS OF GIRLS SCREAMING THEIR NAMES.
I KNOW YOU DON'T WANT ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT THIS STUFF AND EVERYTHING BUT WHEN YOU DO STUFF ON THE COMPUTER LIKE THAT IT TICKS ME OFF SO BAD!!! AND I FOR ONE THINK HANSON ARE THE CUTEST LIVING BEINGS THAT EVER SET FOOT ON THIS PLANET. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE BIBLE? WELL YOU SHOULD BECAUSE THE ROAD YOUR ON IN LIFE IS NOT A GOOD ONE.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME.
[Just when I thought he was done...}
JUST SIT WITH YOUR THOUGHTS TO YOURSELF AND STOP DISSING PEOPLE,MY SISTER LOVES THE SPICE GIRLS AND SHE DIDN'T APPRECIATE IT WHEN YOU SAID STUFF ABOUT THE SPICE GIRLS. I HAVE NO REASON TO GIVEYOU MY NAME SO IF YOU WOULD PLEASE GET THAT GOOD FOR NOTHING SITE OFF THE INTERNET BECAUSE SOME OF US LIKE TO SEE THINGS THAT ACTUALLY MEAN SOMETHING, AND SOME OF US LIKE TO USE OUR TIME WISELY, SO I SUGGEST YOU THE SAME





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