50 WAYS TO GET RID OF HANSON
1.SHAVE OFF THEIR HAIR.
2.SHOOT THEM.
3.TELL THEM THAT THIS GUY NAMED SADDAM HUSSEIN WANTS TO TALK TO THEM AND THAT THEY ARE TO ADDRESS HIM AS"YOUR BUTTHOLINESS"
4.TELL THEM TO LAY DOWN IN THE STREET AT NIGHT WEARING BLACK.
5.BEAT THEM WITH A RUBBER HOSE UNTIL THEY DIE.
6.MAKE THEM LOOK AT PICTURES OF ONE ANOTHER.
7.MAKE THEM LISTEN TO "MMMBOP" UNTIL THEY GO CRAZY AND KILL EACH OTHER. 8.TELL THEM THAT EATING RAW SEWAGE IS GOOD FOR YOU.
9.MAKE THEM WATCH ALL OF THE ROLLING STONES' MUSIC VIDEOS.
10.TIE THEM TO A SEMI.
11.TIE THEIR HAIR TO AN INDY CAR.
12.MAKE THEM EAT RAW MEAT UNTIL THEY GAG TO DEATH.
13.SEND THEM TO A MEETING OF THE ANTI-HANSON FOREVER COMMITTEE.
14.TELL THEM YOU WANT THEM TO HOST A NEW SHOW AND WHEN THEY GO AND GET A MAKE-OVER HAVE THE MAFIA CATCH THEM ON THE WAY BACK.
15.HANG THEM UPSIDE DOWN BY THEIR HAIR.
16.LOCK THEM IN AN ELEVATOR.
17.TELL THEM YOU HAVE A NEW CD FOR THEM TO LISTEN TO AND WHEN THEY SKIP OVER,BEAT THE HECK OUT OF THEM WITH A CLOTHES HANGER.
18.MAKE THEM DO AN HONEST DAY'S WORK.
19.SHOVE THEIR HEAD IN A MICROWAVE.
20.COVER IN TIN FOIL AND SILVERWARE AND REPEAT STEP 19.
21.MAKE THEM WATCH EVERY BARNEY VIDEO IMAGINABLE.THAT SHOULD MAKE THEM COMMITT SUICIDE.
22.SHOVE THEIR HEAD IN THE FIREPLACE.
23.MAKE THEM LAY DOWN IN THE STREET AND THEN HAVE THE MARCHING BAND WALK OVER THEM OVER AND OVER UNTIL THEY DIE.
24.SEND THEM TO A HEAVY METAL CLUB.
25.MAKE THEM LISTEN TO THAT CRAP THEY CALL MUSIC.
26.SHOVE THEM IN A BLENDER AND SET IT ON PUREE.
27.MAKE THEM READ THIS.
28.MAKE THEM LISTEN TO DANIEL ADAMS SINGING.(THAT'S EVEN WORSE THAN THEIR'S)
29.RUN OVER THEM WITH A MOTORCYCLE.
30.SHOOT THEM WITH A CANNON.
31.TELL THEM THAT BUILDING AN A-BOMB IS A GOOD WAY TO GET BONUS POINTS FOR SCIENCE.
32.DETONATING IT GETS YOU EVEN MORE.
33.THROW IN BARNEY THEN REPEAT STEP 16.
34.THREATEN TO BREAK THEIR NAILS.
35.HANG THEM UP BY THEIR HAIR FROM A TREE AND KICK THEM ALL DAY LONG.
36.HMMMMM.WONDER WHAT HANSON'S MALLEABLENESS IS?
37.CUT OFF TAYLOR'S ARMS AND BEAT THEM ALL THREE WITH IT.
38.PLAY HACKEY-SACK WITH THEM ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF.
39.HANG THEM IN A NOOSE,THEN PLACE A CHAIR HOLDING THEM UP PREVENTING THEM FROM HANGING UNDER THEM SO THAT IF THEY MOVE AN INCH,THEY'LL BE HANGED.THEN THROW BRICKS AT THEM ALL DAY UNTIL THEY FLINCH FROM PAIN.
40.STICK THEIR HEADS IN THE FORK OF A TREE,THEN DROP CEMENT BAGS ON THEM UNTIL THEY DIE.
41.INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW,HOW MANY GUNSHOT WOUNDS TO THE HEAD CAN HANSON WITHSTAND?
42.PUT THEM IN RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC ON THE L.A. FREEWAY ON A BICYCLE.
43.HANSON,MEET JEFFREY DAHMER.
44.PUT THEIR NECK IN A FOLDING CHAIR AND SLAM IT OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
45.SPECIAL DELIVERY FOR HANSON FROM MR. TED KYCINSKI.
46.HEY HANSON MEET MY FRIEND MR. GASEY.
47.TIE THEM DOWN IN A CHAIR THEN TIE BRICKS TO THEIR LEGS AND THROW THEM OFF A BRIDGE.
48.HEY I WONDER IF 10,000 VOLTS HURTS,HEY HANSON COME HERE FOR A SEC!
49.TIE THEIR HAIR TO A GRASS ROOT ON THE EDGE OF A CLIFF AND PLAY 'THIS LITTLE PIGGY" WITH THEIR HAIR AND A PAIR OF SCISSORS.
50.HEY HANSON DID YOU KNOW THAT GASOLINE ISN'T FLAMMABLE?
51.TRY IT SOMETIME WHEN I'M NOT AROUND.
52.PIPE BOMB UNDER THE TREE AS A GIFT.
53.TIE THEM UP IN METAL WIRE,THEN PUT THEM ON THE TIP OF THE LIGTNING ROD ON THE SEARS TOWER IN A THUNDERSTORM.