HOROSCOPE






JANUARY
You will inherit jack, the most you will earn today is $5. Your best bet is to save up for that car.

FEBUARY
Today, you will meet a very good looking male/female depending on your taste, she/he will take you for everything you got

MARCH
Do not start a band, Hanson will haunt you to the end. Go to some concert and jump like a mad monkey

APRIL
Hanson's curse beckon's you. If you are strong willed you will resist. Otherwise... OMMBOP!!!

MAY
Wow, you're pretty popular. Watch out DO NOT LET YOUR HAIR GROW LONG!!!

JUNE
You will watch MTV and HANSON will come on, you will change the channel in disgust

JULY
You will go to a Hanson concert and will be kicked out for throwing gum at the band

AUGUST
You will bypass the Hanson craze and go straight to PeeWee Herman's rock til you drop concert

SEPTEMBER
You will get mail from some weirdo, tell him your mind. And ditch whoever you're going out with

OCTOBER
The blessed month. Riches and fame will fall upon you daily. You will get that special someone

NOVEMBER
Getting chilly in your personal life. Go on a ski trip and ski yer heart out

DECEMBER
You will resist Hanson with ease and sleep easily knowing your powers...