100 WAYS TO ANNOY HANSON FANS





You know all those do gooder Hanson fans who think they know everything.
Well here's a few tips to put them in their place.
Give it a try, it's a blast
This would probably work best if you have a room mate who likes Hanson.

1= Adjust the tint on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way".
2= Drum on every available surface.
3= Remove every line of someone's .newsrc file except the entry for alt.sex.fetish.hamster.duct-tape.
4= Sing the Batman theme incessantly.
5= Staple papers in the middle of the page.
6= Ask 800 operators for dates.
7= Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copy warnings.
8= Sew anti-theft detector strips into your Hanson fans backpack.
9= Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.
10= Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
11= Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12= Set alarms for random times.
13= Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
14= Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
15= Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.
16= Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
17= Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the volume properly adjusted.
18= Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.
19= Honk and wave to strangers.
20= Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
21= Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
22= Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.
23= Wear your pants backwards.
24= Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary mints by the cash register.
25= Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
26= Rouse your roommates from slumber each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music".
27= Leave your Hanson friends printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
28= ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
29= only type in lowercase.
30 =dont use any punctuation either
31= Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
32= Pay for your friends dinner with pennies.
33= Tie jingle bells to all your clothes.
34= Repeat everything your Hanson friends say, as a question.
35= Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on it's roadmap
36= Inform them of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ Simpson conspiracy theories.
37= Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
38= Light road flares on their birthday cake.
39= Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
40= Leave tips for your friend in Bolivian currency.
41= Demand that they address you as "Conquistador".
42= Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
43= At the Laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks.
44= When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained.
45= Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One".
46= As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
47= Stand over their shoulder, mumbling, as they read.
48= Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
49= Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
50= Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
51= Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
52= Drive half a block.
53= Call their dog "Dog".
54= Inform them that they exist only in your imagination.
55= Ask them what gender they are.
56= Reply to everything they say with "that's what YOU think."
57= Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in the tray.
58= Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
59= Forget the punch line to a long joke, but assure the Hanson fan it was a "real hoot".
60= Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing them that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
61= Sculpt their hedges into anatomically suggestive shapes.
62= Follow a few paces behind them, spraying everything they touch with a can of Lysol.
63= Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in their brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr Rogers theme song.
64= While making conversations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
65= Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
66= Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
67= Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
68= Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that the Hanson fan pronounce each A.
69= Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at their car to see if they slow down.
70= Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
71= Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if they play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
72= Wear a LOT of cologne.
73= Ask to "interface" with them.
74= Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
75= Sing along at the opera.
76= Mow your lawn with scissors.
77= At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
78= Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy".
79= Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
80= Go to a poetry recital and ask them why each poem doesn't rhyme.
81= Ask the Hanson fan mysterious questions, and scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles". Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't cricket."
82= Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
83= Select the same Hanson song on the jukebox fifty times.
84= Scuff your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
85= Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
86= Never make eye contact.
87= Never break eye contact.
88= Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
89= Construct elaborate "crop circles" in their front lawn.
90= Construct your own pretend "tricorder", and "scan" them with it, announcing the results.
91= Give a play-by-play account of a their every action in a nasal Howard Cossell voice.
92= Holler random numbers if they are counting.
93= Make appointments for them for the 29st of Febuary.
94= Invite them to other people's parties.


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