BUMPER STICKERS
REAL WOMEN PICK UP THE CHECK
REAL MEN DON'T ASK DIRECTIONS
BEWARE! DRIVER LOW ON ESTROGEN
IS VOODOO ACUPUNCTURE REDUNDANT?
GUNS DON'T KILL PEOPLE, POSTMEN AND RADICAL PRO-LIFERS DO
PRO CHOICE ON CAPITAL PUNISHMENT
END WORLD PEACE NOW!
THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH REPUBLICANS
VACUUMING SUCKS
THIS CAR CARRIES ONLY $25 IN AMMUNITION
I LOVE CATS...THEY TASTE JUST LIKE CHICKEN
I LIVE LIKE A MONK...EXCEPT FOR THE CELIBACY PART
HORN BROKEN - WATCH MY FINGER
DENIAL WORKS FOR ME
IF THE WORLD'S A STAGE, I'M COMPLETELY UNREHEARSED!
ALL NECROPHILIACS ARE DEAD-HEADS
CLINTON SHOULD HAVE INHALED
PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY BUT NO FILM
EXTINCTION IS FOREVER
DIETED FOR A MONTH AND ALL I LOST WAS 30 DAYS
WILL WORK FOR FOOD, WILL BEG FOR SEX!
IF YOU DRINK LIKE A FISH, SWIM DON'T DRIVE
LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO DATE UGLY MEN
UNLESS YOU'RE LEAD DOG, THE VIEW NEVER CHANGES
SUICIDE IN KANSAS IS REDUNDANT
COLLEGE GRAD AND PROWD UV IT
I NEED MORE DAYS ON THE WEEKEND
ONLY BRAVE MEN HAVE THE BALLS TO JUGGLE
TWICE HEAD IS BETTER THAN ONCE
SSSHHHH! DRIVER ASLEEP
IT'S NOT WHO YOU KNOW, IT'S WHOM YOU KNOW
ALL NECROPHILIACS ARE DEAD-HEADS
REHAB IS FOR QUITTERS
BILINGUALLY ILLITERATE
GET BEHIND FRONTAL NUDITY
BOYCOTT CHINA OVER HUNAN RICE
I'M FOR CELIBACY IN MODERATION
COLLEGE GRADS MAKE SMARTER MISTAKES
MY KIDS ARE DRIVING ME NUCKING FUTS
GRUMBLY HATEFUL
BETTER TO BE PISSED OFF THAN PISSED ON
CHOOSE POUR INSTEAD OF POOR
JUST SAY "NO" TO STUPIDITY
GOT UP AND DRESSED MYSELF. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?
IF AT FIRST YOU DON'T SUCCEED, GIVE UP SKYDIVING
HUNG LIKE EINSTEIN AND SMART AS A HORSE
NO AMOUNT OF LIQUOR WILL GET YOU INTO MY GENES
SMITH AND WESSON.....TRUE FEMININE PROTECTION
BODY BY NAUTILUS, BRAIN BY NINTENDO
WHEN BLONDES HAVE MORE FUN, DO THEY KNOW IT?
Friends don't Let Friends Vote Republican
Eat Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway
Don't Laugh - Your Daughter Might Be In Here
Cats Flattened While You Watch
Stamp Out Crime - Abolish the IRS
Dare to keep the CIA off Drugs
Money Isn't Everything, But it Sure Keeps the Kids In Touch.
My Mother was a Travel Agent for Guilt Trips
I'm OK. You're So-So.
Don't Honk - I'm Pedaling as Fast as I Can
If You Can Read This Bumper Sticker, You're In Range
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot
Friends don't let Friends drive Naked.
Wink, I'll do the rest!
I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
I souport publik edekasion
My kid is the one who beats up your honor student
I brake for figments of my imagination
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
Make it idiot-proof and someone will make a better idiot.
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth - how about a fountain of SMART?
All generalizations are false, including this one.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
If you are psychic - think "HONK."
* Just because I'm wandering, doesn't mean I'm lost.
* Never drive faster than your guardian angel can fly!
* Forget World Peace - Visualize Using Your Turn Signal!
* If you can't read this, you're illiterate.
* We're spending our childrens' inheritance.
* It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
* IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.
* Born Free... Taxed to Death.
* Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
* Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
* Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
* Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
* Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
* No Radio - Already Stolen
* My son is an honor student at the state correctional facility.
* As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
* I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
* SAVE A TREE: Eat a beaver.
* According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
* We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
* WARNING! Driver only carries $20 of ammunition.
* It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
* Auntie Em, Hate you, hate Kansas, taking the dog. - Dorothy.
* Forget the Joneses, I keep us up with the Simpsons.
* Reality? Is that where the pizza delivery guy comes from?
* Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
* How can I miss you if you won't go away?
* A man with worms is never alone.
* If you cannot convince them, confuse them.
* Love isn't love until you give it away.
* Keep that sense of humor; it's critical.
* Imagination is the foundation of reality.
* When all else fails, lower your standards.
* Don't take my signals literally.
* Life is a terminal disease!
* It's been Monday all week.
* Why be normal?
My kid had sex with your Honor student.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
I don't suffer from insanity ..... I enjoy every minute of it!
If ignorance is bliss ..... then you must be orgasmic!
Some people are alive only because its illegal to kill them.
I got a gun for my wife ..... best trade I ever made.
Anyone can give up smoking, but it takes a real man to face cancer.
To all you virgins: Thanks for nothing.
Earth is the mental ward for the Universe.
Horn broken - watch for finger.
Keep honking .... I'm reloading.
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.
Hang up and drive!
Sometimes I wake up grumpy ..... other times I let her sleep.
I want to die like my Grampa - in my sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car .....
Montana - at least our cows are sane!
Guns don't kill people ...... Postal Workers do!
I didn't fight my way to the head of the food chain to be a vegetarian!
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Don't drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink!
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
Few women admit their age; fewer men act it.
Friends don't let Friends drive naked.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW.
He who laughs last thinks slowest.
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck.
I know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
I love cats ... they taste just like chicken !
I support public edekasion.
I.R.S. We've got what it takes to take what you've got.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you !
Jack Kevorkian for White House Physician !
Jesus is coming, everyone look busy.
Learn from your parents' mistakes: use birth control.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Rainy days and automatic weapons always get me down.
Reality is a crutch for people who can't handle drugs.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.
There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't.
Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of Smart?
Where there's a will, I want to be in it!
Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?
Women who seek to be equal to men lack ambition.
Work is for people who don't know how to fish.
Your kid may be an honor student, but you're still an IDIOT!